There’s something so liberating about the day you allow yourself to become free. The tension eases, the stress is alleviated, you breathe easier and it feels as if the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders. It took me 40 years to get to this point where I’ve freed my mind and conscious. I’ve come close many times but I would always retreat to my typical behavior because it was comfortable and I was familiar with those routines in my life.
I’ve allowed so many things someone has said or something I’ve witnessed to affect me and live rent-free in my mind far too many times. I used to want to challenge people to change their perspective in hopes to enlighten them or just to prove that I was right. As I sit back and reflect on that past person, I see the wasted energy, the unnecessary stress, and the pointless banter that I involved myself in. It didn’t make an impact, neither party would come to a resolution, and more than often I developed resentment to some degree.
In addition to that, this is a part of my problem. In life, you begin to recognize the gifts that you’ve been given by the creator. One of my gifts is that I was blessed with reason. It tends to get in my way at times because by default I get trapped into understanding the dynamics of why or what makes a person operate the way they do. Once I’m in, it takes a while for me to find a way out and even longer to discard that energy. Compound that with being an empath and you begin to see how this blessing is both a gift and a curse. But as I’ve grown, I use it to my advantage and reflect on those instances where I was tested. I wasn’t prepared and I was easily baited into situations where outcomes would torment me. Now I can recognize patterns and when I’m presented with obstacles, I quickly understand the level of energy it will take and easily prepare for various outcomes without draining myself.
Believe me, I’m not making this seem like it was a joy getting here. It was NOT filled with pleasure by any means. IT HAS BEEN ONE HELL OF A JOURNEY TO REACH THIS POINT. But I wouldn’t have wanted to arrive here by skipping out on any of the lessons because I don’t operate like that.
Everything took place at the appropriate time and every situation that posed a challenge was for a specific reason. I appreciate, value, and own every moment that guided me here. Although this is not a pause for celebration, it’s just a glimpse of actualization equivalent to a small milestone on my journey in life. There is so much more to learn and plenty of challenges that are awaiting me. The comfort that I have is knowing that I’ve successfully passed my most recent test. This is what allows me to truly embrace this FREEDOM!
This is soooo cool. Congratulations. I know this feeling and still struggle with it from time to time. I had a long talk with my cousin about this very thing just yesterday. When you are able to release things that no longer serve you. Her sister refused to acknowledge how she may have done things differently. My cousin and I both realized that she was not ready to grow in that way. We both realized that her decision not to look inward really didn't affect/effect us so be both let it go. We are aware that this will continue to torment her until she realizes that she must always look to see how she can create a good outcome f…